BFA (Baby for Adoption)

This is a self portrait and the first piece in the Silent Voices series. Silent Voices is my story and the story of millions of women. It is the story of birth, loss, longing, power, powerlessness, surrender, grief, family and meaning. It represents the spiritual and physical connection that women have with their children and what happens when that connection is lost at birth. It's about children losing their identities and their histories, their families and their truth. It's a story lived and seen through the eyes of a mother who lost a child and a person who lost a paternal history. The stories of original mothers and adoptees are seldom heard. These paintings bring a voice to some of those people. Each painting represents one moment in time, one aspect of living with adoption. Fractured and broken in shades of grey. The stories are sealed, the secrets not lies. A life hidden and changed, kept in tidy boxes so as not to disturb the shining image of others. Black on red, the letters controlled. The signs were there, sending two lives down different roads. One life unknown, the other unseen. Imagination and grief hold hands under the mask until the friction chafes and burns with the once a year flame. The lids break open, the cracks widen. The flames get higher, the ash deepens. Take cover Let the fire heal and the wounds return to the soothing shadows.